I am injured.

I don’t want to discuss the event last month, in which I was thrown off a train, went home, and broke my toe. That is too preposterous to be believed.

Instead let’s discuss tuesday. Jana suggested that we go for a short bike ride, and I was happy to do a bit of exercise in return for a stop at the bike pub for a kolbasa and pivo. After a pleasant tour through the local park we took a short ferry across the Vltava (or as I like to call it, Prague’s most picturesque sewer). While walking across the short wooden bridge connecting the ferry to the shore I managed to totally wipe out.

I emerged from the water bleeding from a cut in my knee and covered in weird soot-like mud. People seemed momentarily concerned, then got back to the process of finding their own bike pub. We swiftly biked back home and Jana spent approximately five hours cleaning Vltava mud out of my cut.

The sad thing is that I can’t blame this bout of clumsiness on beer – I hadn’t managed have even one when I fell off that pier. I’m not sure how I can acquire graceful movements, except by travelling back in time and introducing my teenage mother to a ballet dancer. Although I’ve seen advertisements for that Bruno movie, I’m pretty sure how that would have ended up.

So I’m asking my non-existent commenters to request what further Injury I could acquire. Hilarious yet non-threatening arrow through head? rickets? pink eye? Let me know…